Cut out 'selfish' public grieving and get involved: report

Public outpourings of grief, such as that which followed the death of Princess Diana, and even anti-war protests, are part of an "ostentatious caring culture" which is more about feeling good than doing good, according to a report published today.

In the study, 'Conspicuous Compassion', the independent think-tank Civitas said that wearing coloured ribbons, strapping red noses onto the front of cars, signing internet petitions, and carrying banners saying 'Not In My Name' were more about the psychology of the individual celebrant, than a productive reaction to truly felt grief and loss.

"The three Cs of modern life - compassion, caring and crying in public - show not how altruistic we have become, but how selfish," the report concluded.

But Civitas went further and said that issues which generate public outpourings of compassion – which it dubbed "crocodile tears of 'grief-lite'" – were harmed by the right-thinking but inactive majority.

It said: "People who wear ribbons may think they have done their bit, without actually contributing to the charity concerned. Writing off third world debt will make more funds available to dictators who want to buy arms. Internet petitions are often inaccurate. Celebrity endorsements of good causes are sometimes characterised by both ignorance and credulity."

Most damningly, Patrick West described "extravagant" public displays of grief for people they have never met as 'grief-lite' or recreational grief as "actually undertaken as an enjoyable event, much like going to a football match or the last night of the proms".

Lead author Patrick West attributed these "hollow expressions of public caring" to the decline of certain institutions which formerly provided a framework for and gave a sense of meaning to people's lives ie. family, church, nation and neighbourhood.

He added: "Mourning sickness is a religion for the lonely crowd that no longer subscribes to orthodox churches. Its flowers and teddies are its rites, its collective minutes' silences its liturgy and mass. But these new bonds are phoney, ephemeral and cynical.

"Instead of piling up damp teddies and rotting flowers to show what nice people they are, it would be better to try to do some genuine, unostentatious, good."

(gmcg)